Vietnam

1st Saturday

4.30am start with a taxi to the airport which cost 28 quid. We had stayed in a hotel 'close' to terminal 5 overnight. We decided to do this cause of previous experience with our daughters and early mornings. With hindsight, now, it may have been easier and cheaper to just get up an hour earlier and drive directly from home. Maybe next time!

We were forced to buy Eva a new pair of shoes at the airport as the ones she had brought with her were 2 sizes too small. Gold star.

2 hour flight to Paris and for a bit of a change it was Hannah who threw up on the plane, all nicely contained in the sick bags the airline handily provide. We filled the 3 or so hours we had in the Paris airport eating macaroons and drinking coffee. Just before boarding the Vietnam airlines plane, Hannah threw up all over the concourse right in front of our gate. As you would expect, she was pretty embaraced, not to mention still throwing up, so Kerry rushed her to the toilet. Eva and me didn't really know what to do so we joined the queue and filed past the sick puddle, watching the reactions of the people walking past when they realised they needed to change direction. The puddle was right next to the big travellator, so anyone who couldn't use that kinda had to step over the smelly puddle. We reached the front of the queue and them rejoined the back. We did that 3 times! Just before the staff reached for the mic to do the tannoy announcement for the Tubby family to kindly go to gate 17, Kerry and Hannah appeared and we all waved goodbye to the sick and onto the plane for our overnight (11h) flight. French people do a actually say 'ooh lala' I heard it twice on the flight, before I fell asleep. 

Captain's log : star date: 1st of April 2023 Captain Eva reporting in, I worry about how long my colouring sheets can keep my sanity from dwindling, as I find myself upon this vessel, about to endure a sickeningly long period of flight. We have not even taken off yet. 

 Flight was fun. We had 3 seats together, which the girls took. Hannah threw up within the first hour, during dinner service. We expected to find a handy sick bag in each of our seat pockets but it seems this airline only puts 3 sick bags in economy, carefully hidden around the seats. We collected them all up for later. The full bag was passed to me, as it always is. I probably should have double bagged it, but we only had 2 more bags and it felt very wise to keep them on standby. As I couldn't get out of my seat at the time I put it in the seat pocket in front of me. After a little sleep, about 3 hours later I discovered the cold sick had leaked out of the bag and all over the floor and my left leg. Also Kerry's TV didn't work for the entire flight. And she was covered in girls for about 9 hours. Luckily she had her kindle! I watched 'first man', it was a bit boring. Once my leg was nearly dry I watched 'the whale' - very depressing but strangely good. And 'gods creatures' with the actress that always reminds me of Kerry, er you know, Emily Watson. We had 2 more sickness/stomach contents incidents in the last 2 hours of the flight.... well, Kerry did as I poretended to be asleep.  

2nd Sunday 

We taxied to the lapis, our pre booked hotel. Arrived at 9am. Check in 11.30am


Wanderd around, very tired. Kerry and I got coffee, Eva got bubble tea. Once checked in we slept till the evening when we went out to find the night markets - streets cordoned off (only on at weekends) where H&E bought Clothes, pins, plushies etc.


Pho da (chicken) was bought. Continually refusing to buy fans and sweet deep fried balls from small local women. I had tamarind chicken feet. They were as discussing as they sound. Had a few beers 

3rd Monday 

We found a local place for breakfast - chicken noodle pho for all.


We took 2 Cycle rickshaws for an hour - had a bit of a tour of the old quarter - shoe shops, knock off North Face shops, motorbikes everywhere. Dropped off at the Temple of literature. Many fan and sweet ball selling women here. Giftshop - tray 170,000 Outside found a coffee shop and had first egg coffee cà phê trúng - melted marshmarrow Booked tour nim bin $40 each fit tomorrow (advertised at $65) We spend about an hour looking for a place called the 'zo project' which was listed in the guide book. It had a website but no-one knew where it was. We found 'railway street' which seemed to be a huge draw for photographers.





We discovered our hotel has a jacousy, sauna and swimming pool on the roof. Had a good time splashing around in these before heading out again for dinner. The girls decided to have a 'hotpot' where you cook your own strips of meat and veg yourself at the table. This turned out to be pretty stressful. Won't be doing that again.

4th Tuesday ninh binh tour $40 each

We were picked up from our hotel at about 8:15am. 2 hour minibus drive. When we booked it they made a big thing about the bus being a  'limousine' minibus. It has terrible suspension.

The tour guide also Continually said "ladies and gentlemen" the comedic Australians behind us suggested they take a shot of whiskey every time he I'm says it.

The advertised WiFi of course wasn't available. Our guide said 'The rat ate the wires'. Brilliant.

We were herded into a big shop to look at the disabled people sewing art. Spent about £7 on bad watered down coffee and juice, and then it was back onto the bus!

Fan sellers

Comedy guide kept saying 'ma'

Kerry getting acquainted with her old Herts and Essex school uniform

Cycled a few miles through the countryside to a temple. At one point on the journey a woman took our photos. 15 minutes later at the destination temple,  the photos were presented to us, printed and laminated. The ironic thing is, amazingly, i am writing this from the future, on the aluminium boat and a woman in another boat is gesturing to me with her camera saying '1 dollar 1 picture). these people are amazing. In the UK it takes a few days to get a photo printed and laminated. Here, with seemingly very little, they can turn it around in 20 minutes.  Also the confidence they will be able to sell them is astounding. I bought 4 for about £2.

photo of photos

Back on the bikes and a good 15 minutes cycle to a restaurant ( past many other empty restaurants). Good buffet meal ( Eva ate bread and prawn crackers). Then Back on bus for a bit and onto small 3 person aluminium (not bamboo, as advertised) boats, each rowed by a locals with their feet (which was really impressive).  The scenery was beautiful - rice growing on both sides through karst limestone peaks and twice right through them via low caves with stalactites. The rowers were super skilled, and a bit competitive. It was a bit like being in a kayak race, with passengers, using only your feet. This activity was very popular. There were hundreds of boats, all the same.

"Halong Bay on land"

At the end of the river we bought some pineapple from another boat lady. I offered our driver some and she turned her nose up at it. Then there was some talk about buying her a drink, which maybe we made up.  After all that we turned around and rowed back again. We noticed what looked like pink cocoons on the sticks marking the edge of the rice field.  Eva was then gullible enough to believe that there was 16,000000 hats in the whole of vietnam, each one being numbered. I'm sure I saw a massive zebra plant in a shady bit close to the water. Then back at me Eva tricked me into looking for a colourful bug, touche Eva, touche.

Captain's log: Star date: April the fourth

Captain Eva reporting in once again, at the moment I am on the most boring boat in the world, however the lady rowing has her grippers unsheathed and Is using them to row.  We just went it a cave, it was riveting.

Back to the bus after tipping the rowing wench. Our guide said he was going to take us to the 'happy room', but it was full so we would skip it, whatever that means. Then onto the final destination of the day - 500 or so steps up 'lying dragon mountain' with amazing views of Tam Coc and the river we just boated in. This was great. I love a good climb.








On the way back to the bus Kerry and I tried to explore  'pearl cave' - a one way thin path suspended over water. Didn't get very far as it was full of people.

Bus back, we tipped 200k

Straight out again for pork buns before catching the water puppet show which we had read about in the guide book. On the way home Kerry got run over by a motorbike and we had a massive row.

5th Halong bay tour overnight

Bus pick up,Tour guide Huan

Captain's log: star date: 5th of April 2023

Today we are on a bus ( of the non limousine variety ) it is exceedingly dull.

First stop of the day was a pearl farm.

Halong bay waters are rich in calcium which allows them to grow oysters seeded with small pearls. After a few years they harvest the pearl.

We had a woman shouting at us from about 2m away about pearls, through a small speaker on her waist. We got to hold small pearls and one woman dropped and lost one.  It was like a conveyor belt of tourists branded with lanyards so they they could be relieved of their money and then put back on the right busses.

12 noon we reached the port. Everybody, including us has way too much luggage for 1 night on a boat.

We were transferred by small boat to our ship, which I can only describe as a 'medium sized boat'. We have 2 private cabins! Nice weather for it. Over cast, slight breeze but warm.
Boats raced out to our first destination. Note watch king Kong, was filmed here. we had fish for lunch.  Hannah got vein pain in her left arm.

Post lunch we headed into the landscape in a small boat. There are around 2000 separate limestone islands in the huge bay.

  Surprising/ sung sot  cave was indeed surprising, if not a little spoilt by the hundreds of tourists packed on the paths inside.



Then we headed over to the neighbouring Ti Top island, named after a Russian leader back in the day. We climbed up to the lookout at the top, and then back down and had a swim and beach forage for shells. 







On the way back to the boat Eva managed to kick one of her flipflops into the harbour.  Much fun was had watching the guide fish it out.

After dinner and a short cookery course on how to make Vietnam spring rolls, they fired up the karaoke machine and started the 2 for 1 cocktails.  The Americans were mad for it! We were a little more reserved.

Whilst trying to avoid the karaoke we fished for squid from the side of the boat. Patience was required. There is more rubbish in the water than squid. At one point, whilst we were fishing with some Australians a human poo floated past us. I drifted off to sleep to Larry the American screeching to "Sweet child o' mine".

6th train

Up at 6.30 to the sound of the boats engines. We had breakfast and then oiled into the small boat to head across to the pearl farm to go and do some kayaking!  At this point Eva threw up over the side and so we were down to 2 kayakers. Once we reached the jetty Hannah stayed to learn about pearl farming and I took a single plastic kayak out for an hour or so to practice my full body rotation. Then I learnt that they seed the oysters with a little bit of mother of pearl, and an anti bacterial membrane in order to grow pearls!

Back to the boat where we had lunch and tipped all the staff.  We were then evacuated from our cabins (Eva slept). Paid drinks bill from last night.

I am a stupid poo poo head that is really bad at cow lake bomb

Eva leaves jacket in boat

We got back to the hotel around 3pm and then did a spot of shopping before catching an overnight train to our next destination, Hue.
We had booked a private cabin and there were no surprises. It was indeed a small air conditioned cabin with 4 beds. We played poker and black jack (I had been amassing small notes all day - Hannah won most of the rounds).

7:50pm Hanoi hue overnight train ticket.  Cabin (3,890,000)

7th Hue (Huey)

Breakfast on the train was a quail egg bun and coffee, which was delivered around 7am.  Not much sleep has had last night. Lots of noise and juddering. These trains definitely don't have rubber wheels.  I was sure it was going to topple many times in the night.  We arrived in Hue about 8.30 and taxied to our hotel £30, hotels.com sunny C hotel.  It's hot here. And the further we go south the hotter it will get.

There are sensitive plants. And frangipani trees. It reminds us of Sydney.

We explored the ancient palace bit - we felt we had to. It was hot and expensive.



In the evening we had green curry. Not the same as in Thailand, but really good, none the less. Explored the small night market by the river, and the 'walking street' by our hotel.

We booked tomorrow's hotel in Hoi An  online. Seems like a bargain but we shall see..

8th Hoi An

We grabbed coffee and croissants from 'nice coffee' opposite the hotel and got a taxi to the station where we were just in time to get tickets for the 10.40 train to Danang. Busy train so we were all sitting separately.
I had an interesting conversation with a 70yo man from south Korea who was traveling around south East Asia, about to head home. He showed me photos from his Myanmar travels. Massive gold buddist stupas. I wanted to know about north Korea but he kept miming death, war and not allowed out of the country :( Eva was sat with some tiny local women. H and K were in a different carriage.

We took a taxi from Da Nang to our hotel in Hoi an. It cost 500,000 dong. Protip. Do not use metered taxi but agree price beforehand.

We checked into our hotel (we had booked on internet the night before - Pham Gia Boutique Villa) and then headed out to the old town, met a kiwi he told us about a baih mi place. we found the river where the bars are and time passed. Then we found the baih mi place. It was super busy and amazing.

Kerry had an ostrich one.then we went to the spa opposite and had our feet viciously massaged. It was also amazing. And hurty. Eva had her nails manicured and painted mossy green.

9th Hoi An

Swapped room to be nearer to the kids.

We took a £2 taxi to the nearest beach - An Bang where we had fun in the sea for most of the day. There was a wedding going on in a marquee with some kareoke but it completely finished by around 3.

When we got back the hotel lady presented us with 1kg, 12 fresh passion fruit for £2. They were delicious.

In the evening we headed back to the amazing Bang Mi Phuong for more sandwiches. This place became famous as it was features on a Anthony Bordane cookery show

10th Hoi An

We spend the morning by the indoor hotel pool.

Went out for lunch and the waiter guy brought the wrong food twice. Eva, the picky one ordered fried squid and got rice. Me and Hannah ordered chicken pho and got rice. Kerry ordered the local speciality,  white rose and got a plate of salad and some rice papers. This was swiftly corrected with a personal apology my the man's wife. We didn't see him again.

We went in Kung Fu pandas house and a covered Japanese bridge covered on people. Kerry bought a handbag.  Hannah bought a pearl bracelet. We got a load of lychee type fruit from the market. Rumbutan, longon. At the hotel the hotel woman had got us tapioca pearls, taro powder and another 1kg of passion fruit from the market! We went in the hotel swimming pool.

11th DaNang

We checked out and got a taxi back towards Danang to the marble mountain tourist site.
After traipsing up stairs, climbing in and out of caves, looking at Buddha statues and wondering around in marble sculpture shops, we taxied to our hotel for the night, the May hotel. The room has large window between the bedroom and bathroom, which is very strange.

We explored the sea front a bit. Really nice beach with lots of expensive restaurants and tall buildings. We made a mistake at dinner and ordered burgers from a place on the seafront. They were horrific, along with the rest of the meal.  We swiftly moved on.

12th flight to HCMC

Reasonably smooth flight to HCMC. We checked in our bags and as we were about to clear security, I was called back to remove 2 batteries from my bag. This elevated my stresses levels. Kerry gave me a Durian biscuit on the plane  it was the most revolting thing I have ever eaten up to this point in my life, excluding dinner last night, I would frankly rather be impaled on a stick.

35degrees

After lunch choice (McDonald's me, Eva. Quail egg buns mum Hannah)

Taxi to hotel. Guy gets us to walk for 5 mins then tells us 300d. I say no, we want a metered taxi. Guy says max 170.  gets a different taxi. We load up bags, get in. No meter. Guy quotes 200. We get out, unload bags. Original guy comes back, says 180. We load bags, get in. Driver demands 220 when we get there. This is fun..we checked into our last hotel the Oscar Saigon in district 1. It's not as nice as we had hoped, but at least the Aircon units work.

There are so many mopeds here in hcmc. 3foot high floral bouquet.

8 foot long steel poles

We walked to the US war museum and were impressed and upset by the content.
Due to the temperature, which is currently 35 degrees, we were forced to stop multiple times for drinks. The. We walked to the covered tourist market. A crazy place stuffed with everything tourists but - t-shirts, shoes, clothing, bags, dried fruit. Really hot, really loud and really exhausting.  Kerry bought a bag . I bought pants that turned out to be way too small.
Then we went to the food market and had some excellent, authentic Thai green curry. Yum. The kids bought Pokémon plushies in a Japanese festival we found in a shopping mall.

13th water park

We had breakfast at the hotel, packed our swimmers and then grabbed a taxi to the Dam Sen waterpark on the other side of the city (district 11). We had picked a weekday to avoid the crowds, but we failed to cater for the 1000's of school kids who had been coached in.  They were very friendly and enjoyed practicing their English with us.
We headed straight for the biggest slides.

At the top I had to strip naked to turn my shorts round, as there was a button on the back of them that the attendant didn't like. Kerry found this very funny. A man came up the steps as I was preparing to do this and the attendant smiled and said "It's okay he's a boy". There were about 7 big slides and we had a great time. Eva was a bit hesitant at first, but soon got into it and enjoyed the slides on the foam mats. She also liked the boomerang a 3 person inflatable ride, dropping steeply and rebounding up. Before we left we all went on the kamikaze slide!

Crossing the road parting the sea of mopeds.

Started walking back, stopped for bubble tea. Found a shop selling cute stuff. We buy. Continue walking to 2nd cute stuff shop we marked on the way here. We buy. Continue walking and find thrift shop. We buy a big bag of women's clothes. We were there so long we were given water and introduced to grandma or "mummy". The owner guy gets us a 'grab' taxi home for 140,000d. We ate at the street food market again - Thai green curry.

14th final day

We had a lie in today!  It's our last day so planning to take it as easy as possible. We went to the Japanese festival first and the girls spend the last of their dong on Pokémon soft toys. We walked to our old friend the food market for lunch and then walked to the cathedral, which the 2 year old guidebook said was under construction. It was still covered in scaffolding.

We headed back to the covered market as the girls had decided they liked the bad Kerry bought and had decided they would be good for school. Not bad at £8/bag

15th morning flight home

Alarm woke us up at 3.45 and we made our way down to reception where we got a taxi to the airport. Bag drop and check-in when without incident.  After passing security was had a final bang mi and coffee, which was 6 times the price of last nights, and half the size! then it was a 13 hour flight before we were home!